It’s easy to make mistakes when you get that easy back and forth during the interview. There’s a sweet spot during those crucial steps when both employer and candidate begin to feel one another out, when you both try and figure out whether or not you are the perfect fit. This time it’s just you and her, man and woman. She held your hand a bit too long after you both shook following a successful first round interview. She has a laptop out and you just then realize maybe you should have brought a notebook and pen. Instead of placing herself between the exit door and you like during the first interview, she has strategically positioned you between the exit door and her.

A sign?

Maybe.

There’s really only one way to find out. Close your eyes and lean in. It’s what goes on inside the head of all men. Except this psychosomatic whatever is complex. You and I have both failed to push through this anxiety. Let’s break down exactly what is going on inside your head (and mine).

1. Anxiety and Fear of Rejection / Second Round Interview

Leaning in for the kiss during your second interview is a gamble. You now know for certain this woman is your future boss. She’s about to introduce you to the rest of the team. They already told you energy drinks are free. You better not fuck this up. Those free energy drinks will save you dozens of dollars every week.

2. Overthinking and Self-Doubt / First-Round Interview Reminiscing

Somehow you were shortlisted and survived the pre-screening interview without screaming. This is good. Followed by your first-round interview with this woman in this exact same place, positions on the chairs swapped, the elongated handshake outside those doors over there now a memory etched onto your cognitive landscape for eternity, there is between you and her an almost incendiary connection. She stares at the spot just above your eyes (aggressive), while you stare at her lips (seduction).

3. Desire and Attraction / Technical Assessment

Remember, think of this woman as a bitch in heat. Imagine, amid the two of you talking through meaningless business questions, while you lie through your teeth about what you value in a company, and she admits she needs you more than you need her, there is between the both of you a risk, this game of ours yields only a maximum award. Her questions may range from discussing pervious work experiences to situational and behavioral queries, but everything you say can turn her the fuck on.

4. Body Language and Non-Verbal Cues

Notice how her body leans in. How she’s letting her chest breath. This isn’t what your brain wants to hear. Eye contact, facial expressions, and body positioning is open and inviting, cooing to your perceptions, “Come closer. Closer!” Her shirt is even unbuttoned moron.

5. Reference Checks

Since every other job you’ve had has ended up with you being let go, whether that being negligence, not doing enough work, not doing the right work, connecting your virus ridden phone to a work laptop with a charger, connecting a work laptop to public wifi and forgetting to use a VPN to connect to the server, or speaking to the imaginary people out loud and in front of everyone, your employer will often time conduct reference checks. They will contact your previous employers or colleagues to verify your employment history, skills, and work ethic. It is imperative to have all your references as trusted allies. Make sure they are willing to lie through their teeth.

Conclusion / The Serenation

Escalating on your future boss during the second interview has both its pros and cons. This is a critical component of the hiring process, designed to ensure that the right candidate is chosen for the job. Having a big dick helps tremendously. Even if you suck at sex, the size of your rod can more than make up for it. Try and feel her out. You can start with a hand on the waist. If she pulls back, just go in for the kiss. You never know. She might just be your future wife.